This day started well but I became more anxious and restless as time went on, insecure about all my choices, some pain around the heart and the right hip. At 2 I decided to meditate for a while and laid down. With so many people at work I felt a little Guilty and saw how obscenely luxurious this would look to so many, but was too keen on taking refuge to care too much. I fell asleep many times only to remember that I was dreaming. What did I see, a luminous saber toothed tiger swimming above me in clear water, mugwort, bees, and many other fleeting things. At one point I became more lucid and started to ask very directly for guidance, before falling off again. Somehow when in the liminal state I started to chant to myself about a loving, wise mind, saw the very slurred face of a smiling, happy man and opened my eyes to see that the clock read 2:22. I woke up in a different state of mind, as an instrument of a loving heart, with awareness of how much more tender and generous my heart has become over the last 4 years. With a loving heart as my ground of being, I felt like I'd found my lost anchor. How did I wake up to bodhichitta?
A strange note, the pain in my right hip moved to the left side. I had meditated with a quartz crystal in my left hand, I've heard it said that they help realize wishes.