tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29671067397064542832024-03-13T10:58:02.035-07:00treat oceannotes on meditationamarillahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06145474039245058818noreply@blogger.comBlogger22125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2967106739706454283.post-4018576065640512772011-03-04T09:43:00.000-08:002011-03-04T10:03:43.715-08:00ConsciousnessI can have a pain in my body for a long time before I notice it. I can have a song in my head for a long time before I hear it. I can feel under subtle pressure and tension for a long time before I notice. It seems I have to enter a space of sitting and watching, as if I were to climb up on a far away ledge to get a view of a valley, before I become aware of what is happening to me and significantly, what I've been doing to myself. Many many people are waging subtle energetic warfare on each other continually on account of jealousy and resentment, and sometimes it's we ourselves who are under our own attack. How do we separate from ourselves, from all our abusive auto-mechanisms, for long enough to notice some pervasive, subtle act of fear or aggression we're staging automatically.<br /><br />While meditating I saw the living fossil of the toddler in me trying so hard to accomodate the expectations of others that she'd internalized those pressures habitually in order to protect herself from any devastating outside blows. In the water of the soul swim the creatures of truth. This is one I just became aware of, again. It's a slippery one and easily wriggles out of my awareness even when I try to hold onto it and study it's dynamism. Which I'd only do if I prevent it from getting buried in the valley of the avalanches of novelties, distractions, self-consciousness and habitual hurry scurry. <br /><br />In meditation I became aware that my husband and I can be much better friends. Soul friends. We have to scope the landscape of our shadows better and borrow each other's eyes from time to time to view the things we're doing to ourselves and what we do to each other. If we enter the water's of our own and each other's souls and swim.amarillahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06145474039245058818noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2967106739706454283.post-42528225175132517792010-08-31T06:52:00.000-07:002010-08-31T07:03:28.377-07:00Adventures in Space<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_sOdvwGyffxI/TH0LmFtifsI/AAAAAAAAGwo/aBmXGB5k8n4/s1600/finial.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_sOdvwGyffxI/TH0LmFtifsI/AAAAAAAAGwo/aBmXGB5k8n4/s400/finial.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5511574267967471298" /></a><br />Today I feel I am wrestling with reality /the angel/ every second. Every second I see some way I'd like to edit what is, and a second later wonder what exactly reality wants, and find that I have space for it to be as it is and curiosity about where it is going, on its own, without being checked by my neurosis and hangups. <br /><br />Yesterday was a day for me to learn about humility, humility in the face of reality, to start to see all the automatic screening devices with which I keep reality /and myself/ at bay. Raw reality, what does it want?<br /><br />I was thinking about Jesus and his suffering. He had to find space in himself for all he endured. He became a master of space. And Padmasambhava, burned at the stake 3 times, must have gotten to know fire very well.<br /><br />And me, I notice that I run from myself every minute, unable to control all that I feel I should be able to change in myself and in the world, unable to live up to my standards. There's so many Atlases like me paralyzed in some degree by the weight of our grandiosity, always running, running away from the reality of ourselves and our helplessness. It makes you hornery.amarillahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06145474039245058818noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2967106739706454283.post-79788433862150023812010-08-27T06:34:00.000-07:002010-08-27T06:45:23.963-07:00Internalizing SpaceTenzin Wangyal Rinpoche, Healing with Form, Energy and Light, page 128:<blockquote>Space is the ground of everything, the fundamental reality. We generally think of earth as representing groundedness, and it does as long as we believe ourselves to be one thing separate from everything else. In duality, earth is the ground, space is the absence of ground. But in Dzogchen, space is the ground. The practitioner merged with space is more grounded than earth because he or she is the space in which earth exists; is more comfortable than water because space has no obstructions; is more flexible than air because air can go no place that space is not already; is more creative than fire because space gives rise to fire. Space is what we truly are.</blockquote>amarillahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06145474039245058818noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2967106739706454283.post-53811461920063795022010-08-10T05:43:00.000-07:002010-08-10T08:43:19.785-07:00one small thing<p></p><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_sOdvwGyffxI/TGFLV2TNlUI/AAAAAAAAGu4/cM9gYCqL0Cc/s1600/java-prajnaparamita.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 254px; height: 400px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_sOdvwGyffxI/TGFLV2TNlUI/AAAAAAAAGu4/cM9gYCqL0Cc/s400/java-prajnaparamita.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5503763058348889410" /></a><br />The statue of Prajnaparamita has a strong symmetry which draws one's mind to the center, her hands are posed in the dharma wheel mudra and her face appears in such absorption that I wonder where here mind has gone. The mudra draws my mind to the central point, where the thumb and index finger appear to hold something incredibly small and precious. What is that tiny thing?<br /><br />In my meditation last night I tried to hold this thing. It appeared to me as a tiny spinning bead filled with light, shimmering a blue light. A pearl, perhaps, embedded with endless dakini script. It hangs there spinning the past to the future to the present and around again, like the Gaykil hangs inside the Dharmacackra, a tiny seed of spontaneous arising the emanates dharma, heart work, bodhichitta. Is it the atom and its components, the nucleus, ever reconfiguring and creating matrices of life? Is it the nuclear burst that lies within?amarillahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06145474039245058818noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2967106739706454283.post-61037970506523140552010-07-29T10:38:00.000-07:002010-07-29T10:44:02.439-07:00on non-meditationShinay, or non-meditation is discussed in this blog<a href="http://blog.beliefnet.com/onecity/2010/06/100-degrees-of-happiness-at-the-id-project---a-visit-from-yongey-mingyur-rinpoche.html"> post</a>. Instead of trying to focus our minds on a particular object or practice, Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche suggests we stay relaxed and present to whatever floats into our awareness. Is that easy?<br /><br />What's not discussed is that in order to do this practice one must relinquish control of experience and emotion, relax the floodgates clenched to keep insecurity at bay. Often when one starts to relax control over what's allowed into the mind one (theoretically) opens to the difficult emotions and memories we suppress, push to the margins of consciousness. In order to hang on to the horse of Shinay, everything has to be OK, the darkness, the sadness, the despair, the hopelessness, greed, the insecurity and its causes, all that is true within the consistency of our being.<br /><br />Sitting passively, insecurity arises, tugs at our minds, and we do nothing about it. How is that possible? With the foundation that these thought forms that push us one way or antoher and their contents have no reality. They are shadows, clouds, presumptions, superimpositions. When all that arises within our minds becomes cloudlike and empty, these dynamics loose their power. This is the practice of relaxation; not just to relax the jaw, shoulders, eyes, spine, wrists but to relax the very mind that grasps at phenomena as reality, having understood the ignorance that causes appearances to be mistaken for actualities. When the body becomes a temple fortified with the understanding of mind-as-projector, one can truly relax into softness, a softness that contains within it pure potential and sky-like spaciousness.amarillahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06145474039245058818noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2967106739706454283.post-82450091442481278832010-03-31T14:46:00.000-07:002010-07-29T10:37:54.197-07:00sky dancerI dreamed of clouds that boiled and swirled in intricate forms like foam on a cauldron; The clouds seemed to come alive. At that time, when I looked up and lost myself in the clouds, I sometimes saw the merlin that lives around here. My son and I were looking for shapes in the clouds and then I saw it.amarillahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06145474039245058818noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2967106739706454283.post-71601827008297790082009-05-15T07:54:00.000-07:002009-05-15T08:56:59.469-07:00SweeteningIn many mystical traditions it is accepted that as one individual cleanses her mind of resentment, hostilities and attachments, all other minds benefit and show a similar ripening. That's how it seems to me right now, and while I was just meditating and in this period of doing the work of developing a heart dedicated to compassion. <br /><br />MR, speaking about Buddha Shakyamuni the other day, mentioned that some believe when a Buddha gains enlightenment, all beings simultaneoius follow suit. So why aren't we all enlightned then, he asked. He didn't answer this question. Well, perhaps we're more enlightened than we would have been otherwise. As for me, I found it curious when, walking down Prospect Park West, I was suddenly delighted that there are 6.77 billion people on earth. 6.77 billion flames to light my heart up. This is rather a large shift from my former (hopefully) mindset in which the enormous human population makes me want to scream about resource depletion and the ravaging of the earth. <br /><br />The train of thought brings to mind Rumi's extraordinary poem called "An Invisible Bee." Here's a skepful:<br /><br />Look how desire has changed in you,<br />how light and colorless it is.<br /><br />with the world growing new marvels<br />because of your changing. Your soul<br /><br />has become an invisible bee. We<br />don't see it working, but there's<br /><br />the full honeycomb! Your body's height,<br />six feet or so, but your soul rises<br /><br />through nine levels of sky. A barrel<br />corked with earth and a raw wooden<br /><br />spile keeps the oldest vieyard's wine<br />inside. When I see you, it is not so<br /><br />much you physical form, but the company<br />of two riders, you pure-fire devotion<br /><br />and your love for the one who teaches you;<br />then the sun and moon on foot behind those.amarillahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06145474039245058818noreply@blogger.com44tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2967106739706454283.post-83789995647310942062009-05-05T10:48:00.000-07:002009-05-05T14:07:06.963-07:00plunge<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_sOdvwGyffxI/SgB_KP0jnLI/AAAAAAAAEKo/bJier2I3KcE/s1600-h/IMG_8536.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 0px 0px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_sOdvwGyffxI/SgB_KP0jnLI/AAAAAAAAEKo/bJier2I3KcE/s400/IMG_8536.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5332401772829056178" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />I wasn't really ready to meditate until about 2 years ago. I vaguely remember what it was like when I'd try... something like when you try to body surf and get caught by a wave and tossed around, smashing face against sand, inhaling salt water through the nose, getting the bathing suit filled with grit. <br /><br />Why did it feel like that? I have an idea. I think it was the strength of intense unresolved psychic traumas and fears that buffeted me so much I'd feel queasy, but in an unconscious way, so that I hardly knew what was happening. I think Buddhists would talk bout these forces as "winds."<br /><br />In the year or two before I started to meditate I went through pockets of intense upheaval, as if I was allowing karma to arise, pay my debts and get on with it. As the months went on, I experienced a death-in-life every so often, when some long held issue or belief about myself or others that limited my experience of the world would emerge from my energy field, come to a head, erupt, dissolve, dissolve so completely it was as if it had never existed in the first place. Gone. Attachments renunciated, but not deliberately and consciously, but as if my magic, or as a product of me getting out of the way so my higher self could kick my posterior to high heaven, saying "enough is enough!" It hurt. And then it was over. And then there was bliss, and stillness.<br /><br />I believe Hindu Gurus such as Maharshi call this process letting go of "sheaths." I think that' very apt. On the other side of those sheaths, I started to meet the goddess behind all goddesses, Tara-Fatima-Guadalupe-Kali-Prajnapamitra-Yemia, who set my heart on fire with her illuminating lamp. Let the love that she lit there spread to all living things in the form of deep and true compassion. <br /><br />So then finally it changed, and it became not only comfortable for me to hang out with myself in the darkness of my closed eyes, but very appealing, weighted by a profound blissful stillness. It was like slipping into a shallow ocean alive with little electric fish that buzzed and tingled while waves of warmth rippled deliciousness through this void I call myself, and within, an immense, soothing anchor. Work with shaman Joe Monkman helped me greatly in gaining a level of comfort with being in the present moment, in my body, with myself, and helped pave a path for me to go deeper, finding in myself that which can nurture, warm, and brighten and pacify my mind.amarillahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06145474039245058818noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2967106739706454283.post-68827561914161603142009-04-06T11:44:00.000-07:002009-04-06T19:31:56.894-07:0022 minutesThis day started well but I became more anxious and restless as time went on, insecure about all my choices, some pain around the heart and the right hip. At 2 I decided to meditate for a while and laid down. With so many people at work I felt a little Guilty and saw how obscenely luxurious this would look to so many, but was too keen on taking refuge to care too much. I fell asleep many times only to remember that I was dreaming. What did I see, a luminous saber toothed tiger swimming above me in clear water, mugwort, bees, and many other fleeting things. At one point I became more lucid and started to ask very directly for guidance, before falling off again. Somehow when in the liminal state I started to chant to myself about a loving, wise mind, saw the very slurred face of a smiling, happy man and opened my eyes to see that the clock read 2:22. I woke up in a different state of mind, as an instrument of a loving heart, with awareness of how much more tender and generous my heart has become over the last 4 years. With a loving heart as my ground of being, I felt like I'd found my lost anchor. How did I wake up to bodhichitta?<br /><br />A strange note, the pain in my right hip moved to the left side. I had meditated with a quartz crystal in my left hand, I've heard it said that they help realize wishes.amarillahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06145474039245058818noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2967106739706454283.post-26325861297070796432009-03-24T10:03:00.000-07:002009-03-24T10:05:28.376-07:00mana prana chi kiA nugget from the Wikipedia article on qigong...<br /><br /><blockquote>In some styles of qigong, it is taught that humanity and nature are inseparable, and any belief otherwise is held to be an artificial discrimination based on a limited, two-dimensional view of human life. According to this philosophy, access to higher energy states and the subsequent health benefits said to be provided by these higher states is possible through the principle of cultivating virtue (de or te 德, see Tao Te Ching, chapters 16, 19, 28, 32, 37, and 57). Cultivating virtue could be described as a process by which one comes to realize that one was never separated from the primal, undifferentiated state of being free of artificial discrimination that is the true nature of the universe. Progress toward this goal can be made with the aid of deep relaxation (meditation), and deep relaxation is facilitated by the practice of qigong.</blockquote>amarillahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06145474039245058818noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2967106739706454283.post-22862144061296164802009-03-23T08:00:00.001-07:002009-03-26T08:51:10.285-07:00progress, really!I'm finally coming back to something that I new very well a year or two ago but got sidetracked from. At that time when I'd meditate the feeling was of getting into a warm bath, of making time to enjoy all of these small energy events occuring in the body, tingles here and there, taps, emanations of heat, odd pulls and swoops. I guess because there are so many ways to meditate I lost my sense that all I needed to do was get into that bath and observe the currents of energy.<br /><br />Reading Mysteries of the Life Force by Peter Meech has helped me become aware that the kind of steeping I was doing was a tribute to the life force, which grows when nurtured by awareness. The Chi Kung master who is the subject of the book teaches that when we properly nurture chi, it heals us, knowing exactly what to do.<br /><br />Sometimes it requires patience to feel anything. Other times the sensations are rather remarkable. I was just meditating on the brown sofa in the living room and feeling the sensation of fingertips making delicate down strokes around the crown chakra, pressure in the third eye regions and tingling lines helping to relax tension in my left glutial. After a while I had the inclination to put both hands over my heart which brought a heavy warmth and radiance to it. I began to feel that my heart wanted to drink from the chi of my hands steadily and heartily and would not let them leave there. Oh, poor heart. Then I felt like moving the left hand down to dan tian and felt the energy from that little furnace connect with the heart energy in a powerful column of radiant, warm stillness. Now, as I write this, I still feel a very distinct pressure on my third eye and the happiness in my still recharging heart. <br /><br />I suppose if the life force likes to be cradled in the awarness, then it also won't mind being cradled in an um, blog.<br /><br />But wow, what a way to go. From what I've been reading there's a whole mountain range of life force that I haven't even come close to and wouldn't be strong enough to perceive at this point. And then, there's those little devils who are so good at stealing it away when I'm not looking.amarillahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06145474039245058818noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2967106739706454283.post-86196593193134434322009-03-22T06:25:00.000-07:002009-03-22T06:35:49.869-07:00Thinking about ChiThis morning it appears that meditation that simply observes various sensations appearing in the body is a meditation on chi, or a way of cradling and strengthening the life force. This meditation has a wider scope than that meant to be purely an excercise in strengthening focus by observing the breath. <br /><br />Chi seems to appear as ebbs of coolness and heat, electrical rushes here and there, maybe down through the tongue and into the fingertips, tickles and pricks, and hopefully the development of a sensation of heat in the dan tian. But this isn't something to be controlled, we can trust when we pay respects to the subtle life force within us it knows better than us where to travel and how to heal, and how to instill deeper wisdom.<br /><br />Maybe we can call chi "nectar." Yesterday at the Tara Puja Matthew explained how the word nectar derives from the roots of a word for "death" and the root of the word "tar" which means to cross over. <br /><br /><blockquote>Nectar is derived from Latin nectar "drink of the gods", which in turn has its origins in the Greek word νέκταρ (néktar), presumed to be a compound of the elements nek- "death" and -tar "overcoming". The earliest recorded use of its current meaning, "sweet liquid in flowers", is 1609.[1] ~wikipedia</blockquote><br />I had no idea the word was as loaded as the flowers that offer it.<br />He also mentioned a book called Ocean of Nectar by Geshe, which is a title I'm going to have to look into.amarillahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06145474039245058818noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2967106739706454283.post-62155686622951882282009-03-16T11:09:00.000-07:002009-03-16T11:14:03.723-07:00When we break, God rejoicesThat is, when we give up because we realize it's never going to happen, when we exceed the limits of our smallness, when we give birth to something larger than our egos and preferences, when we realize there's no way we're up to the task we set before ourselves, but in spite of that, we're full tilt in effortless bounty.amarillahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06145474039245058818noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2967106739706454283.post-70124934612945853812009-03-16T08:43:00.000-07:002009-03-16T09:08:28.687-07:00happy with lessThat seems to be the message of the day, coming to me with surprising sanity in spite of the groggy exhausted achy condition I'm in for no reason I can pin down, except for that most optimistic diagnosis some like to call "a healing crisis." <br /><br />So many buttons I've pressed today are sticky, what glommed on to the camera? The Y key downstairs? Entropy the enemy, the weights on the bench press, it's not easy to get anything done. It's not easy to do something good. In fact, to do something really really good is really really hard and we do fail often, don't we? We're all climbing very slippery vines.<br /><br />Through the fog of my middle world malaise comes a renewed appreciation in all the things I take for granted, breathing, for instance. <span style="font-style:italic;">I can do that.</span> All the food in the refrigerator, the warmth and tremendous beauty of friends and company, the minds also hard at work trying to navigate this trying maze. Nature, whose beauty expands with each second, third and fourth look. Whose call is so loud.<br /><br />Our lot is hard, our choices difficult. We are pulled in every direction and hunger for so much, and each of our steps is threatened with innumerable pitfalls. We find it hard to place limits on our indulgence, indulgences that undermine our better sense. How much more then should we celebrate every wholesome resolution, every graceful evolution, every just revolution.amarillahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06145474039245058818noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2967106739706454283.post-88607519986031218082009-03-12T07:15:00.000-07:002009-03-13T07:44:43.739-07:00The Puzzle of OrderWhat a gorgeous day it is today, what subtle architecture of light seems to fill the hour. While my to do list beckons, I have to take time to ruminate a bit on Order as it appears this morning.<br /><br />Each plant and animal and living structure bears its unique order, cascading hierarchies of traits like you see most clearly in trees. I also see these beautiful subtle structures in people and am so deeply moved and humbled. In each mind, unique tendencies and preferences uncoil from an inimitable sensibility, especially in the case of artists, whose work sometimes reflects the delicate playfulness and self-atunement which to my mind resembles the infinitely various patterns God's breath makes when it blows and melts the elements into networks of unutterable beauty. A man, a woman, her mind, a snowflake, a dancing city of woven light.<br /><br />Considering the infinite array of order in minerals, plants and animals, elements, planets, suns and galaxies, this 3 dimensional patchwork of form and law, the instinct of animals and man, the sensibilities and interests of writers and artists, builders and chefs, doctors and mothers and gardeners and arborists, the invisible cords that pull the curiosity of scientists into various configurations, leave me peaceful and fulfilled. For once, not hungry. For a moment, happy to be like air or water and mold to revelations of form.amarillahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06145474039245058818noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2967106739706454283.post-56483658772840731162007-11-09T10:26:00.000-08:002009-03-08T18:53:45.152-07:00Taking a DipMeditating, i remember. there's some steady stream of bliss that I'm almost cut off from. A river of joy it's so easy to lose.<br /><br />Inner lanscapes are full of unweildy structures, top heavy, barbed, collapsing. Then I remember to just look at them. Breathe into them.<br /><br />With every outbreath letting go, let things fall apart. All the impossible architecture, clear it out.<br /><br />After a while i remember all that joy. I like it. I want more of it. I want to give it away. I want everyone to soak in it. i see how hard i am on myself and how scared of failing. Failing what?<br /><br />we always see humans as more sophisticated than other life forms, in some ways we are. but i have a suspicion that every other life form still steeps in this river of bliss. But we humans got sidetracked for some reason. being scared and judging and angry. dag. it's hard living between two worlds. give me my canoe.<br /><br />Up again, scared, how do I make the right choices. I have a new idea: choose joy. float.amarillahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06145474039245058818noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2967106739706454283.post-590522730906559942007-10-09T06:04:00.000-07:002007-10-09T07:09:45.530-07:00Question of SufferingA woman I know, my mother-in-law, wants to believe in God. She wants to believe that God is in our hearts, waiting for us. It is hard for her to trust that statement, although it comforts her to a certain degree. She reads the newspaper. The rapes and murders of Darfur, the holocaust, the horror of the weapon wielding attackers in love with the power of their knives, their guns, their gas chambers, who are thrilled by the damage they cause. Who seem to justify violence by believing that it actually has power to solve their problems.<br /><br />No wonder Jacob Boehm wrote that self-will is evil, and resigned will good, resigned will representing renunciation of power to manipulate the world to reflect the preferences of the self-involved fear and ego driven person so many of us were taught to be.<br /><br />Buddists talk about contaminated action that strives to avoid suffering and that hoards pleasure, but how far do you take it? When you are sick, don't you take medicine? Perhaps you are given vision, so you can see what you are given and see also what you are grabbing.<br /><br />But why Suffering?<br /><br />Does it symbolize our separation from God, or Self? Does it reminds us that we are lost? But home is closer than we know.<br /><br />Does it help us because as people overcome fears caused by such suffering we learn from and are inspired by their strength in facing the truth?<br /><br />Suffering reminds us of the truth of impermanence, because when we are hurt we are mourning the loss of our wellness, the violation of health, wholeness, well being. And once that law is internalized, we know we can't find the peace we seek in the world, we have to look within. We will never find true security in the world.We are so deluded, in this point in history more than ever. Now the polar ice has taken on the job of teaching this lesson: that our solutions are false.<br /><br />Does it reminds us that we will never be completely whole in this world? We strive towards wholeness here, but there are parts of ourselves that exist in heaven, even now, and separation from those parts is the root of suffering.<br /><br />Perhaps the violence, injury and hurt we see in the world symbolize and emphasize our separation from God, from Self.<br /><br />But these seem like cold responses to the woman's questions. Rationalizations.<br /><br />I feel a little pathos when I write that without free will, than the accomplishment that we generate as we grow in strength, love, patience and courage would have no meaning. And I feel like it does. It feels to me like every atom in the universe has a heart, and appreciates every leap towards freedom and truth and honesty any human being ever makes. Every bit of growth is celebrated. But by the human race, not enough.<br /><br />Many people have thought, are thinking now, and will think, about this question. I wonder what ideas they offer us.<br /><br />But one thing I know for sure: The meaning of life is to lovingly hold space for ourselves and others to grow in strength and courage, the courage to let go, to be generous, to hold the tenderness in our hearts instead of avoiding the intensity. To wait patiently for the elusive truths to reveal themselves. And when someone raises a step on the great pyramid of truth, celebrate, rejoice. The best we can do is call for the truth, and face it with courage.<br /><br />And the truth is, people are doing this, constantly, taking deep breathes and pushing themselves farther and farther in letting go of false supports. But we don't notice or celebrate, we are too busy complaining about God.amarillahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06145474039245058818noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2967106739706454283.post-6982950108111293542007-09-10T20:18:00.000-07:002007-09-10T20:26:03.337-07:00self-cureDiscussion of Grace:<br /><br /><blockquote>Self-surrender is <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">the</span> condition of the perfect working of Grace. It may be partial or complete; but in any case it tends towards <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Egolessness</span>, and <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">anticipates</span> in some measure all the good that there is in <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">Egolessness</span>. The <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">surrenderer</span>, <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">says</span> the Sage, need not worry about his own good and <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">evil</span> actions <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">of the</span> past; their reaction would not work to his disadvantage; for Grace would dispose of them so as to turn them to his advantage. The whole function of Grace is the elimination of the sheaths, after which the real self alone will remain.<br /> Grace is not something special; it is really universal; <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">it is</span> the only power for good there is, and all alike <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">participate</span> in its goodness; but the ego interferes and discounts its work; by self surrender this interference is made less and less, and <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">the</span> work of Grace becomes more <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">and</span> more effective.<br /><br />...The Sage was asked by someone what he should do to deserve Grace; the Sage answered; "Are you asking this question without Grace? Grace is in the beginning, the middle and the end; ; for Grace is the Self; but because of ignorance of the Self it is expected to come from somewhere outside of you."</blockquote><br /><br />Maya Yoga, Page 213-214amarillahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06145474039245058818noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2967106739706454283.post-80247543273715023052007-09-06T18:43:00.000-07:002007-09-07T07:05:25.117-07:00Fasting on Yom KippurMy husband was hoping he could fast on <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Yom</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Kippur</span>. But he doesn't really know how to switch into low gear, which is what you need to do when you fast. Maybe he would choose that day to clean all the screens in the house or something like that. Last year he babysat and fasted. NOT A GOOD DECISION.<br /><br />This year I was hoping he'd babysit again, there's something I've been invited to do which I don't want to miss. When we talk about it, he says, well, I guess I don' t have to fast. He <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">points</span> out that usually when people fast they hang out at the temple all day. Contemplate. Not something you can do with three kids to tire out. I ask him if maybe there's another way to purify.<br /><br />He says that according to Rabbi Andy <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">Bachman</span> of Temple Beth Elohim, the fasting is not about purification. As he understands it, you give up your daily comforts to make room in yourself to be comforted by God alone. You let yourself go naked before God. Sounds like an act of faith and trust. You hand the remote control to God and see what programs he has for you. No ad men make money off that.<br /><br />I just found this in my email, from Jennifer, who runs an <span style="font-style: italic;">A Course in Miracles</span> meetup group. Sorry for the religion mish-mash, but I like what it adds to the train of thought above.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><blockquote>Although in truth the term sacrifice is altogether meaningless, it does have meaning in the world. Like all things in the world, its meaning is temporary and will ultimately fade into the nothingness from which it came when there is no more use for it. Now its real meaning is a lesson. Like all lessons it is an illusion, for in reality there is nothing to learn. Yet this illusion must be replaced by a corrective device; another illusion that replaces the first, so both can finally disappear. The first illusion, which must be displaced before another thought system can take hold, is that it is a sacrifice to give up the things of this world. What could this be but an illusion, since this world itself is nothing more than that?<br /><br />It takes great learning both to realize and to accept the fact that the world has nothing to give. What can the sacrifice of nothing mean? It cannot mean that you have less because of it. There is no sacrifice in the world's terms that does not involve the body. Think a while about what the world calls sacrifice. Power, fame, money, physical pleasure; who is the "hero" to whom all these things belong? Could they mean anything except to a body? Yet a body cannot evaluate. By seeking after such things the mind associates itself with the body, obscuring its Identity and losing sight of what it really is.<br /><br />Once this confusion has occurred, it becomes impossible for the mind to understand that all the "pleasures" of the world are nothing. But what a sacrifice,--and it is sacrifice indeed!--all this entails. Now has the mind condemned itself to seek without finding; to be forever dissatisfied and discontented; to know not what it really wants to find. Who can escape this self-condemnation? Only through God's Word could this be possible. For self-condemnation is a decision about identity, and no one doubts what he believes he is. He can doubt all things, but never this. <span style="font-size:85%;"><br /><br />From Section 13: "What is the Real Meaning of Sacrifice" in Manual for Teacher from <span style="font-weight: bold;">A Course in Miracles.</span></span><br /><span style=";font-family:sans-serif;font-size:85%;color:blue;" ></span><br /><br /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /><br /></blockquote></div>amarillahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06145474039245058818noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2967106739706454283.post-64688286499814275182007-09-05T20:30:00.000-07:002007-09-05T20:36:54.434-07:00Exiled from Happiness<span style="font-size:130%;">p. 22, Maha Yoga<br /></span><blockquote><span style="font-size:130%;"><br />It may be said that desire is the cause of our being exiled from the happiness that is within us, and its momentary cessation just allows us to taste a little of that happiness for the time being.<br /></span></blockquote><span style="font-size:130%;"><br />I know this is true, from watching myself, and my kids, encounter unattainable lollipops. It's been a long time since I've heard anything that resembles the phrase I used to hear, "ignorance is bliss." It seems like that way of thinking is less a part of our culture now than it ever has been. We are accumulating/improving/avoiding robots. Too much technology. Too many options. Too much information. Degenerate times...big challenges.</span>amarillahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06145474039245058818noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2967106739706454283.post-5875113294411374632007-09-05T11:28:00.001-07:002007-09-05T11:28:10.238-07:00The Serpent and the Rope<span style="font-size:130%;">From </span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" style="font-size:130%;">Maha</span><span style="font-size:130%;"> Yoga by K. </span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" style="font-size:130%;">Lakshaman</span><span style="font-size:130%;"> </span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2" style="font-size:130%;">Sharma</span><span style="font-size:130%;">, about </span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3" style="font-size:130%;">Ramana</span><span style="font-size:130%;"> Maharishi, or the Sage of </span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4" style="font-size:130%;">Arunachala</span><span style="font-size:130%;">. This book was recommended to me by Andy at The Healing Place on Garfield in Park Slope. Thanks, Andy!<br /><br />The passage is long and may get a little tedious, here's what I take it to mean:<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 102, 0);">The world and our identities are </span><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(204, 102, 0);">very</span><span style="color: rgb(204, 102, 0);"> convincing illusions created by the mind. Only a direct experience of non-duality (the true Self) can reveal the truth.<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">All the rest of us have to go on is faith and rhetoric. And hopefully, grace and intuition.</span></span><br /><br /></span><div style="text-align: justify;"><blockquote><span style="font-size:130%;">When a rope is first mistaken for a serpent, </span><span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5" style="font-size:130%;">and</span><span style="font-size:130%;"> then </span><span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6" style="font-size:130%;">recognised</span><span style="font-size:130%;"> as a rope, the serpent </span><span style="font-style: italic;font-size:130%;" >ceases</span><span style="font-size:130%;"> to appear. That does not seem to be the case with the world. Even when </span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7" style="font-size:130%;">it is</span><span style="font-size:130%;"> known that the world is only an appearance of the real Self, the world continues to </span><span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8" style="font-size:130%;">appear</span><span style="font-size:130%;">. This is the objection raised by one that has heard the teaching and been more or less </span><span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9" style="font-size:130%;">convinced</span><span style="font-size:130%;">. The correct explanation is that mere theoretical knowledge does not dissolve the world-appearance, but only the actual Experience of the Self. But this explanation may be premature at this stage. Hence the Sage needs to convince us that a false appearance may continue to be seen even after it is known that the thing is false. This is illustrated by </span><span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10" style="font-size:130%;">the</span><span style="font-size:130%;"> analogy of the waste land on </span><span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11" style="font-size:130%;">which</span><span style="font-size:130%;"> a mirage is seen. The mirage is a false </span><span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12" style="font-size:130%;">appearance</span><span style="font-size:130%;">, just like the snake, But it continues to be seen even after it is known that there </span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13" style="font-size:130%;">is no</span><span style="font-size:130%;"> water in the place. We thus see that the mere fact of an appearance persisting is no proof that it is real. But then a further </span><span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_14" style="font-size:130%;">doubt</span><span style="font-size:130%;"> arises. The disciple says, the case of the mirage is distinguishable; the water of </span><span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_15" style="font-size:130%;">the</span><span style="font-size:130%;"> mirage is conceded to be unreal, because even though it does not cease to appear after the truth of it becomes known, its unreality is proved by the water not being available for quenching thirst; the world is not so, because it continues to serve innumerable purposes. The Sage dispels this </span><span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_16" style="font-size:130%;">doubt</span><span style="font-size:130%;"> by appealing to the experience of dreams. The things that are seen in dreams are useful; food </span><span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_17" style="font-size:130%;">eaten</span><span style="font-size:130%;"> in a dream </span><span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_18" style="font-size:130%;">satisfies</span><span style="font-size:130%;"> dream-hunger. in this respect the state of waking is in no way superior to the dream-sate; the use of dream-objects seems as valid within the dream, as the use of waking-objects within the waking </span><span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_19" style="font-size:130%;">state</span><span style="font-size:130%;">. A man that has just eaten a full meal goes to sleep and dreams that he is hungry, just as a dreamer, having eaten a full dream-meal, wakes </span><span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_20" style="font-size:130%;">hungry</span><span style="font-size:130%;">. Both are proved false in sleep. This much we have seen from the dream-analogy, that a </span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_21" style="font-size:130%;">thing</span><span style="font-size:130%;"> may seem to satisfy a need, and yet </span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_22" style="font-size:130%;">may</span><span style="font-size:130%;"> be an </span><span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_23" style="font-size:130%;">illusion</span><span style="font-size:130%;">. The fact is the need and its satisfaction are </span><span style="font-style: italic;font-size:130%;" >both equally</span><span style="font-size:130%;"> unreal</span>.p. 66-67</blockquote></div>amarillahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06145474039245058818noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2967106739706454283.post-76679917070797273702007-09-05T11:26:00.001-07:002007-09-05T11:27:27.940-07:00Dualist Gripes<h3 style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);" class="post-title entry-title"> <span style="font-weight: normal;font-size:100%;" >I always forget that these things that are troubling me or aggravating to me are a mirror showing something that I need to learn about. Forgetting this, I get into a mind that wants to change the world so that I will be happy and comfortable. Treated the way I wish to be treated. Amused the way I want to be amused. Protected the way I wish to be protected. I get swept away ruminating on how the world should change, how he/she/it should change. As if I knew better than god how the world should be.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span></h3> <p style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);"><span style="font-size:130%;"><br />The practice of developing an accepting mind, a mind that affirms reality (the things our mind/self are showing us) is a long and complicated project, with many levels of significance. Christ's view as I understand it from A Course in Miracles: learning to love, to forgive is really about becoming comfortable with ourselves, and discovering our true nature. Recognizing our oneness with God. By forgiving, we climb steps by which we overcome the world, which is an illusion created by the ego. By resenting, we stay locked in the dream that we are being tormented by the world, when we are in fact being tormented by the beliefs and feelings held by our egos, dark and uncomfortable issues we project onto the world becuase that's how the mind works. We are </span><span style="font-size:130%;">tormented by the tension of a dreaming Self that thinks it's a self.</span></p>amarillahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06145474039245058818noreply@blogger.com0