Meditating, i remember. there's some steady stream of bliss that I'm almost cut off from. A river of joy it's so easy to lose.
Inner lanscapes are full of unweildy structures, top heavy, barbed, collapsing. Then I remember to just look at them. Breathe into them.
With every outbreath letting go, let things fall apart. All the impossible architecture, clear it out.
After a while i remember all that joy. I like it. I want more of it. I want to give it away. I want everyone to soak in it. i see how hard i am on myself and how scared of failing. Failing what?
we always see humans as more sophisticated than other life forms, in some ways we are. but i have a suspicion that every other life form still steeps in this river of bliss. But we humans got sidetracked for some reason. being scared and judging and angry. dag. it's hard living between two worlds. give me my canoe.
Up again, scared, how do I make the right choices. I have a new idea: choose joy. float.